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I had sex at the airport!

Friz Freleng said:
In one airport you have to unpack your laptop, in another you leave it in the bag.
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This due to the equipment that is deployed at the airport, not the TSA Agent:

  • 2D Dual View (DV) X-ray machine = take laptop and small electronics out of the bag
  • 3D Computed Tomography (CT) machine = laptop stays in the bag

Example : Right now at DFW, Terminal E , they have three X Ray Lanes :
qty 2 CT lanes
qty 1 DV conventional X-Ray lane


so choose which line to stand in if given a choice...
 
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My wife and I were flying to the USA from Shanghai. I got pulled out for a pat down by a beautiful young lady. I didn't mind if it took 30 minutes. Unfortunately for me, I am not poker player and my wife could see the smile on my face. My chinese language skills are limited but I understood the jist of what my wife was saying to the young lady. The lady and my wife laughed at my enjoyment and then my pat down was ended prematurely...... I tried to go back around for another trip but the stink eye from my wife convinced me that was not a smart idea before a 14 hour flight......
 
gpounce said:
I find the TSA folks are often more actively hostile than police. If they want us to "see something, say something" they could try establishing trust with more cooperative and civil methods. We went to Canada on vacation last summer- the increase in civility and relaxation in the Canadian airports was amazing, and decreased just as markedly when re-entering the States.
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Same with the border agents. We took our camper up to Nova Scotia 7 years ago. Crossing into Canada was a pleasure, coming back into the US you would have thought I pissed in his Cheerios that morning.......
 
After 30 years of flying for business I like most of you have see quite a few changes. I did have a rather good exchange with a TSA agent shortly after they were implemented. My mother had given me a new pocket knife for christmas, I of course carried it everywhere. I was at a smallish airport in New Hampshire and the TSA agent there found it and immediately told me I had to discard or put it back in my car. Well I was running late, I told him the story of how I got the knife, and asked if he would be working two days later when I flew back to that airport, he was and kept my knife, returning it to me when I came back through two days later. Good bloke, best story of TSA I got, rest not worth telling, well except for that one time ..
 
keyzard said:
Same with the border agents. We took our camper up to Nova Scotia 7 years ago. Crossing into Canada was a pleasure, coming back into the US you would have thought I pissed in his Cheerios that morning.......
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If you were forced to put up with thousands of entitled assholes every day, just looking to be assholes, you would be surly too!
 
Jim Moore said:
I mean, the TSA agent who spent two minutes feeling me up in the boarding line probably didn't count it as a conquest, but I sure as hell did. It would have been nice for him to light two cigarettes and pass me one as we relaxed in the warm afterglow, but you can't have everything.

That poor guy. Forced to sexually assault me over a pack of gum in my pocket. I told him afterwards, 'Brother, whatever they're paying you, it ain't enough."
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Disappoint...TED:brow. I RED dis FORT dare waz axetualy goin a be a proper gettin it on story:crash. But no, We gets a auntie climax instead, knott bean so un nappy since i shit myself as a kid.
 
One time flying from Dominican to Canada I had a flight change in Newark and had to pass through customs. Agent decides to pull me and go through my bags even on a pass through. I was bringing a bunch of beer home for a tasting. Sam Adams American brand he tells me he needs a better look at one corked bottle. He comes back and has opened the beer. I flipped out! I totally went off on the agent yelling and screaming why he'd opened my beer yada yada yada. He totally ran away and left his buddy to deal with me. I was pissed! It took me 2 years to find that beer again!
 
skibum69 said:
One time flying from Dominican to Canada I had a flight change in Newark and had to pass through customs. Agent decides to pull me and go through my bags even on a pass through. I was bringing a bunch of beer home for a tasting. Sam Adams American brand he tells me he needs a better look at one corked bottle. He comes back and has opened the beer. I flipped out! I totally went off on the agent yelling and screaming why he'd opened my beer yada yada yada. He totally ran away and left his buddy to deal with me. I was pissed! It took me 2 years to find that beer again!
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Like this.
 
I admit I have little sympathy for TSA agents. I'll tell you why...

I had to pick up my mother at the Oakland airport about 10 years ago. She suffered from mild confusion/dementia but was traveling alone, and it became clear she had gotten lost in the airport. I asked a TSA agent for help but he referred me to the Alameda county sheriff's substation inside the airport, where a deputy offered to help. Great.

Now, the substation at the time was located near the switchback aisle that funnels people back and forth toward a TSA agent who looks at your ID. No one was in the line so the deputy grabbed the cord and was going unhook it and walk directly through instead of winding through the switchbacks. At that moment a TSA agent jumped in front of the deputy and told him that we had to follow the empty maze...we couldn't cut through. Mind you, we weren't passing through a security checkpoint. I swear, the Deputy looked like he was going to pull his Glock and shoot the officious woman in the face. Instead, he went ahead and unhooked the cord and pushed her aside as if she was the world's most worthless TSA agent. And she was.
 
I fly private and can avoid TSA terminals, but customs and immigration can still be a pain. I prefer Canada over US.
 
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