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I had sex at the airport!

Jim Moore

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 7, 2022
Member Number
1056
Posts
86
Location
Jax, FL
I mean, the TSA agent who spent two minutes feeling me up in the boarding line probably didn't count it as a conquest, but I sure as hell did. It would have been nice for him to light two cigarettes and pass me one as we relaxed in the warm afterglow, but you can't have everything.

That poor guy. Forced to sexually assault me over a pack of gum in my pocket. I told him afterwards, 'Brother, whatever they're paying you, it ain't enough."
 
Being a sister agency to TSA I really feel for them. They have a sucky thankless job. I travel a lot, and try not to get too worked up when they single me out. BTW, at least it is the back of their gloved hand...
 
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I got the specialty zipper rubdown treatment yesterday from the TSA on the way to Laredo, and today in Laredo on the way back to DFW.

I think it has to do with these new FIREHOSE jeans wifey just bought me.....
 
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So 911 never happened then?
If you think the TSA is anything other than theater you're pretty much alone in thinking that. There have been a string of heads of TSA, including my former neighbor, who were fired after yet ANOTHER "exercise" to test security in which a high percentage of those trying to smuggle weapons through the checkpoint were successful. But they were able to confiscate some granny's shampoo, so kudos to them.
 
If it were at least consistent, it would be one thing, but I can fly around for 2 weeks, traversing multiple airports, and suddenly some item I am carrying is now a problem, where it was largely ignored in the previous 8 screenings. It's all theatrical BS.

I had one of those little credit card sized multi tools they hand out at trade shows. It has a tiny serrated edge on one corner. After 2 years of it flying around in my bag, suddenly I have a prohibited knife in my carry on.

I think it boils down to what the x-ray guy sees and decides he wants for himself.
 
You want a sure fired frisking?

Fly out of TYS> Every damned time....
 
If you think the TSA is anything other than theater you're pretty much alone in thinking that. There have been a string of heads of TSA, including my former neighbor, who were fired after yet ANOTHER "exercise" to test security in which a high percentage of those trying to smuggle weapons through the checkpoint were successful. But they were able to confiscate some granny's shampoo, so kudos to them.
:rofl
 
If it were at least consistent, it would be one thing, but I can fly around for 2 weeks, traversing multiple airports, and suddenly some item I am carrying is now a problem, where it was largely ignored in the previous 8 screenings. It's all theatrical BS.

I had one of those little credit card sized multi tools they hand out at trade shows. It has a tiny serrated edge on one corner. After 2 years of it flying around in my bag, suddenly I have a prohibited knife in my carry on.

I think it boils down to what the x-ray guy sees and decides he wants for himself.
YES! The lack of consistency is maddening. In one airport you have to unpack your laptop, in another you leave it in the bag. Wallet out in one, wallet okay to keep in another. And it's a oddsmaker's wet dream whether an airport wants your belt in the bin. Now, some might argue that lack of consistency is a tactic to keep criminals guessing, but that doesn't explain or excuse the surliness by TSA agents when you don't follow their arbitrary rules.
 
I find the TSA folks are often more actively hostile than police. If they want us to "see something, say something" they could try establishing trust with more cooperative and civil methods. We went to Canada on vacation last summer- the increase in civility and relaxation in the Canadian airports was amazing, and decreased just as markedly when re-entering the States.
 
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