I mean, the TSA agent who spent two minutes feeling me up in the boarding line probably didn't count it as a conquest, but I sure as hell did. It would have been nice for him to light two cigarettes and pass me one as we relaxed in the warm afterglow, but you can't have everything.
That poor guy. Forced to sexually assault me over a pack of gum in my pocket. I told him afterwards, 'Brother, whatever they're paying you, it ain't enough."
That poor guy. Forced to sexually assault me over a pack of gum in my pocket. I told him afterwards, 'Brother, whatever they're paying you, it ain't enough."